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Incontrovertible proof that sports makes people insane

TeamBaby sells DVDs to introduce indoctrinate children at an early age -- like 3 mos. In Alabama, we accomplish this by naming children after Bear Bryant. But apparently, in other parts of the country, they're employing the Elmo/Teletubby method of mind control:

BabyIrish.jpg

A wee leprechaun like this would never pull for Michigan.

And for those times when baby isn't lounging in front of the plasma with a sixer, getting ready for College Gameday, you can read to him from a TeamBaby mascot book, chart his growth with the TeamBaby Growth Chart, and hypnotize him with the mascot mobile. This one plays "Rocky Top."

VolMobile.jpg
Hell is full of these.

And when you're done with all of that, you can go to an insane asylum, where you belong. Child services will be along shortly.

Check out Mascotopia.com -- your child indoctrination headquarters.

November 11, 2005 09:07 AM | Link

| Comments (11)

Comments

I bet the UA mobile would be adorable, though. :)

Posted by: CJW at November 11, 2005 10:59 AM

The Tennessee mobile is so cute...one puppy for each loss this season!

Seriously, though--does the mobile come with the corn syrup IV drip needed to pump a youngster up to Fulmer-size splendor?

Posted by: Orson Swindle at November 11, 2005 02:12 PM

hahahaha. Orson, I think it would be cuter if instead of hounds, the mobile had little phat phils twirling up there....

Posted by: WSJ at November 11, 2005 02:20 PM

Someone should revoke your parenting permit. That's a surefire way to give a child nightmares.

Posted by: Orson Swindle at November 11, 2005 02:33 PM

Anyone realize that most of the DVD's are of SEC teams? Smart advertising that is.

Posted by: shanon at November 11, 2005 02:35 PM

F.Y.I. all of our mobiles can be see at our website www.mascotopia.com

Posted by: Alex B. at November 11, 2005 02:46 PM

Never Fear!!!

Underdog is here!!!


Posted by: Keith at November 11, 2005 05:47 PM

I wonder if I can get a DVD of all of the Pontiac Game Changing Performances Alabama has had this year?

When I have a son, I can play this 3-hour long highlight DVD of all the GCPs and make him understand the importence of a rabid fanbase willing to make Matt Miller's fumble return a "GAME-CHANGING PERFORMANCE" winner.

Then he'll be just like me. ;)

ROLL TIDE!

Posted by: The Spirit of Bill Oliver at November 11, 2005 11:38 PM

That's because the SEC is simply the best! Go Cats!

Posted by: KentuckyBigBlue at November 12, 2005 07:44 PM

HA! The true question is: will that kid ever even go to college period, or just be another white trash "Domer Hanger"
/hail purdue

Posted by: Ry at November 13, 2005 06:44 PM

I have the Gator Mobile for my 3 month old son. Yes, I know. I am a sick, sick man.

Posted by: Stranko Montana at November 14, 2005 02:16 PM

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